I fell in love with a girl.

he promised himself he wouldn't do this. he promised himself he'd be okay. somehow seeing her changes everything. there he is, thinking he's in a dream, when he finally realizes that she's really there. this is where the odd part starts. he can't breathe normally, can't stop himself from feeling faint, being dizzy, having a giant headrush. the only thing is. the last girl who made him feel like that, the only other girl, he was head-over-heels in love with. so he starts to wonder. could he possibly be in love with her? he just doesn't know, there wasn't enough time to figure it out. so the butterflies in his stomachs will stay, the moments of longing will continue. he doesn't know how he should feel. he's all scrambled up.  the world is beautiful. sometimes he wants to go around outside in the middle of the night and tell everything that he loves it, hug every tree, every lamp post, every object that it is physically possible to hug. he wants to sit down with the hedges and talk about the world's old way of trying to motivate things. he wants to sleep amongst the critters that litter treetops. but most of all he just wants to breathe it all in.  one more day to get through before he takes off to the land of weekends and queer. he waits for the clock, getting closer and closer with each passing second. he feels so ready to get away. the nighttime trying to force him to give way to the sleepy moanings behind his eyes. nothing actually did much better. he tries to let sleep take over. he just can't and he knows it.  not many of the world's strangest ideas come together and produce something. there's so much difference in the world. he tells himself he can brave it out for.  <3 <3