the tortured soul knows no other path. it believes there is only suffering and nothing else can compare to it's hardships. it cannot believe that another soul could've gone through anything quite as tramatic as what it has been through. the pain is lurking behind every smile and the tears hide behind every sunshine. there is one place where the soul can be at peace, take down the barriers of pain and fear. this place is where the soul can just be, without any worries about the future or the continuous bullshit it will still be put through. the chains and gags become a welcome part of life, this is how the souls knows it is truely tortured. this is how the mind is completely lost. sometimes it just hurts so good.
his mind goes back to every memory including that title: suckerpunch. rewatching makes him rememer the little things, the little jokes made the first time around, the conversations about who wanted to go see it, the actual feeling of the mind being suckerpunched that the movie gives. it's beautiful. he doesn't want to let go of the way it makes him feel, the raw mix of being turned on and knowing something that feels like a high form of intelligence. he knows that he'll have to close his eyes and let it slide away. he knows that he'll just wake to a day of a totally different pace. he knows that he is risking a lot in the morning, putting it on the line to try and get a faster start at his working life. he doesn't want to think about it anymore, the nerves are eating him away.
his heart tells him not to get overly excited that there's only a week left, but his head doesn't listen. the scenarios play through his head like a non-stop movie, looping over and over until he knows every way anything could possibly go. he just can't wait to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. he may never let go again. for now the world is still cold and relatively lifeless, the clock keeps on ticking, bringing happiness closer.
<3 <3
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