we hate too fast and we love too slow.

she lays in the hospital bed, wires coming out at all angles. machines are whirring all around her. she doesn't know where she is. she looks around and sees her three daughters crowded around her bedside, along with her son-in-law, granddaughter, and great grandchild. they peer down at her. all of a sudden it gets to be too much and she tries to get away. there are bars up on both sides of her bed to stop her. that annoying little clip on her finger is her only way to rebel, she takes it off and the beeping begins, signifying there is no heartbeat. the doctors all say how cute she is, that she is a fighter and will get through this with no problem. her one daughter freaks out. she wants to do everything possible for her mother, but thinks surgery is a bit drastic. there is too much risk involved. they all gasp at drilling burr holes, only the youngest knows what it means, although he never thought he'd hear those words anywhere besides the tv shows. the doctor explains and more panic rises is the rest of them. she is still laying there, oblivious to what is happening. the biggest perk of her inability to speak of understand very much English. 
it is a basic procedure, something many elderly people have to go through at some point. many falls or strokes actually tend to develope bleeding of the brain apparently. a good chunk of the elderly go around with two or four holes in their head as battle scars, badges of honor and age. he wonders if he'll ever have to endure sure a thing, although he is a good 50 years from such things. he decides he would never be as brave as her. they're all just lucky that the surgeon is Japanese and can make her a little more comfortable during the proccess. 

he goes home and tries to sleep, but there is just too much worry. worry for his family, worry for his love. seems everyone is taking up at least a little bit. he just needs to get some rest and prepare for another hard day ahead. he tries not to think about any of it too much. although tomorrow bring another day where mail is delivered. he hopes tomorrow is the day the postman decides to send him something worthwhile, not just more samples and junk. he tries to rest his weary eyes, the past weeks events keep unfolding in his mind. he misses her dearly, he wants her in his arms while he waits to hear the fate of his broken family. 

<3 <3