I love her and she might love me.

so. the world is fucked, the teachers in my school enjoy torturing us, and there's nothing to do. so yeah. nothing much to say. just the usual. box needs to die, and life is like RAWR!!
earlier I was all like OOOH INSPIRATION!! but then I kinda just had to write a huge ass thing about the whole directing process and shizz. not fun. so thn creativity went poof for awhile.
OOOOOOH so I've been trying to learn to beatbox for almost two years.. and then today when I was singing in the shower, trying to get the rainbow song out of my head (it didn't work, as anyone who's heard shauna's rainbow song would know from my post title today, and anyone who hasn't wouldn't have a fucking clue) anyways I started making animal noises and gun noises and shtuffs and then it morphed a little and next thing I know I could actually do a beat!!! so now I need to work on endurance and trying to get a few more basic beats down.
andandand.. I GOT A CHAIR! a swivelly, rolly chair for my desk. and it's awesome. I kinda wanna name it moosh. because that's the word that popped in my head right now... is that even a word??

anyways. been being super cool and listening to a nuch of indie shtuffs for a good... 6 hours or so. cause I'm cool. need to find a way to the mother mother, said the whale concert on the 11th. GAHHHHHHHH!! go with my epic hipster friends?? I THINK SO!!

I wish I could say I don't miss her anymore.. but I'd be lying. I had a math midterm today.. after the first 15 questions I stopped for a good 30-45mins just sitting and thinking about her.. and couldn't other trying to find the answers to the rest of the questions after. good thing it was multiple choice, so I have a chance at getting some right. at least that gave me a chance to sketch some epic slutty derby animeishness.. yeah, that's right, I can't even concentrate enough for poetry in math anymore.

I wish I could have skills to write an actual good song.. and play an instrument well enough to actually be in a band. seems like all my friends have skills like that and they can make it look easy. but then there's me, little music loving dork who can't do shit because she can't play any music cause she's too lazy and clumsy and have tiny hands that can't reach for chords and stuffs.. I wish I could pick up something and make the world beautiful with it. maybe I'll grab my ukulele and learn to play it, that should be small enough for me. or get my bass back, but its not easy to write music with only a bass line, need to have a lead instrument. tiiiiiits...

oi. so there. maybe I can say a little.

<3 <3