I can see rock bottom and it isn't too far.

yeah I suck, I know. didn't get a chance to post yesterday. but with the whole spending the night in tsawwassen thing I didn't really have a way..

so yeah. jaxed out was awesome. rockband and beatles rockband made my life. after that to the freaking awesome party of musicals and epic people and never-ending fun... well it seemed never-ending at the time. until waking up this morning. no idea what I did last night to make my neck in so much pain, and now that I'm home and not hiding behind a sheet of my hair I realised that I have a like tumor of puss under my skin obstructing the inside of my right eye. right now, it about halfway closed even when trying to widen my eyes. and when it closes all the way it hurts, including blinking. and so the right side of my face looks like I'm from pandora.. but not blue. and of course it's pushing down on my tear duct so my eye's all watery and my whole face pretty much is in pain. and it just won't drain easily. after at least an hour it looks the same. hate myself right now.

speaking of hating myself.. thought of three things that I want for Christmas. 1. eyebrows 2. skin that doesn't constantly get infecting in 1000000 places at once 3. take away that stoopid human desire to love and be loved. it only leads to heartbreak and stoopidity. 

now off to endure some time without Internet and not be able to do my project and study everything. fuck yeah. failing at everything.

<3 <3